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5 Tips For Making Joint Custody Work

August 15, 2018
5 tips for making joint custody work

Your ex is late dropping off your child — again . On top of that, your child left homework and soccer shoes at your ex’s house. Now you have to drive all the way across town to pick them up, which takes time out of your crazy schedule.

Sound familiar?

If you’re struggling to make joint custody work effectively with your ex, this blog post will help. Our family law firm in Atlanta is focused on helping you through difficult custody situations, both in the office and online. Read today’s blog post for five tips on handling joint custody, and then visit The Fairell Firm in Atlanta if you’re in need of family law advice, you’re filing for custody, or more. Our female attorneys are compassionate and experienced, so contact us today for help.

5 tips for making joint custody work

Put Your Children First

Prioritizing your children and their needs covers a wide range of topics, but we think it’s pretty self-explanatory. Your schedule and convenience are obviously important, but your children top that. If something alters your schedule but makes their lives easier or more productive, it’s probably wise to do that. Be flexible if they need to be with your ex for some reason even though it’s your day.

Don’t make sure their time with you is only filled with fun and all the “hard parenting” is left for your ex. This can mean a lot of different things, but make sure you’re doing homework with them, volunteering at their school, helping with projects, and, yes, still making them do chores.

You have a responsibility as a parent to guide your children into adulthood. By prioritizing their needs and teaching them to be hard workers, you can do just that. You’ve had kids — so it’s simply not about you anymore, even if you’re separated from your ex.

Respect Your Ex

This tip is especially important because it’s healthy for you, good for your ex, and vital for your children. Try to avoid speaking ill of your ex whenever possible, but especially around your children.

Your ex spouse may not be an important figure in your life anymore, but they’re still the parent of your child. Your children deserve the chance to think positively about their parent, and your ex deserves the chance to be a good parent. Just because your ex was a bad spouse doesn’t mean that they’re a bad parent. By speaking poorly of them, you can damage your children’s opinion of their other parent.

As you speak respectfully of your ex, your ex is also more likely to speak respectfully of you when around your children.

Communicate Well With Your Ex

 

Georgia child support laws can be difficult enough as it is. Don’t complicate the laws further by refusing to communicate well with your ex. This will be easier if you’re actively trying to follow the second tip on this list (respect your ex).

 

When you communicate well together, your children will learn healthy communication, even during disagreements, and the joint custody will go more smoothly, which will simplify your children’s lives.

Communicating well can lead to fewer potential arguments, better timing with drop-offs/pickups, and more flexibility when there’s a problem with your schedule. You will, of course, still have disagreements. And, more likely than not, communication hasn’t always been an especially strong area for the two of you; pick your battles, learn when to talk through it, and learn when to just move on. As you work to develop your communication, your children and the joint custody will both benefit.

You deserve representation. Contact us today.

Communicate Well With Your Children

You’re far from being the only one affected by child custody. Your children deserve to be spoken to openly, honestly, and often. Ask them what they’re feeling, how they think the situation could improve, and how you can help.

Even if your children are young, this is still crucial. Children are developing their future communication skills, habits, and ways of thinking. These younger years are a significant building block.

As your children grow older, continue to build on this foundation of open communication, and make sure you’re actually listening to what they say. For example, they may specify that they want to spend more time with your ex or want another change you may not have expected. Listen to their reasoning and respect their decision if it’s safe and OK to do so.

Personalize The Custody Agreement

Over time, you’ll see how the custody agreement can or should change to better meet your ex’s, your children’s, or your needs. Whether you need a child custody lawyer to do so or it’s a less formal change you and your ex can agree upon is up to you. After all, you’ve been honing and improving your communication skills over the years!

You can review and adjust legal custody according to:

  • Your children’s ages, personalities, needs, etc.
  • Your children’s academic/extracurricular activities
  • Your child care arrangements, distance between parents’ homes, etc.
  • Each parent’s career, social commitments, needs, etc.

If you need family law advice when navigating these changes, The Fairell Firm can help. Agreeing to these changes verbally with your ex is wonderful, but having child custody agreements drawn up in writing can be beneficial in the future, so you may need to meet with a child custody attorney.

Need family law advice? Or are you at the beginning stages of filing for custody? Reach out to The Fairell Firm in Atlanta for help with family law.

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